Good news. I've found my "itinerary" that I was issued over orientation. This will make it a lot easier for me to remember everything I did and in what order; I was a bit worried about remembering it all accurately because the three days sort of mesh together in my head already. Fun Fact: I found it in the side pocket of a pair of pants that just came out of the dryer, and was still able to unfold it and read it. And people say I'm unlucky.
I'm going to quote from the itinerary and then explicate the headlines.
Saturday, July 4th:
Everyone wakes up to their cell phone alarms going off. Nobody wants to get up and everyone feels awkward because if you get up and turn the lights on you'll make everyone else miserable. This would not be desirable, as you have just met these people and don't want to annoy them. So, cue about five minutes of silence after the alarm followed by someone going "So, are we gonna get up or what?" and another going "might as well". A mass exodus departs the motel room for the showers.
8:00 a.m.: Hot Breakfast
Much like the previous night's dinner, the breakfast was questionable. It was quiche but of a very odd and mysterious variety and I ended up gaining most of my sustinence from cold cereal. Nothing wrong with that. They were serving New Zealand-produced fruit juice of unique fruit combinations and we soon learned to stock up on these in pants pockets, etc to fuel us for the remainder of the day. Not the most exciting portion of my tale, I must admit.
8:45 a.m.: Transfer to Rotorua Boys High for 2nd Program Introduction Session
These Program Intro sessions were basically the serious, note-taking parts of the orientation where they informed us of ways to adapt/live in New Zealand, differences in the academic system, how to operate in cases of emergencies, etc. Not much to report on here, most of it was things that I'd already known. There were about four of these sessions over the weekend.
11:00 a.m.: Bus departs for a morning of adventure. You can try zorbing or luging or go on a hike around the Blue Lake.
As I was trying not to be the easily exploited tourist, I (along with many others) opted out of the 45 dollar one-time zorbing run and decided to take a hike in the Redwood Forests. This place was a huge nature reserve that New Zealand had planted about 150 years ago by importing redwood trees from California in order to preserve and maintain its forest life. It had a diverse and interesting gift shop which included a 3-d scaled map of the entire forest. I was blown away by how big it was in relation to the now relatively small trail I was about to walk.

A bit of an odd aside, but something happened in the gift shop that only I would freak out about. The background music speakers started playing the epic trailer music that they used in the trailer for "The Matrix" in 1999. It was extremely out of place and utterly ridiculous, yet somehow extremely epic. I had to get videographic evidence.
The forest itself was unlike anything I'd ever seen. Being on the other side of the world affords me opportunities to see plants and wildlife that I had only seen in books or films before now. Certain parts of the walk had a tropical feel that made me think of a prehistoric, dinosaur-ruled age. You could smell the rich life in the air and my ears were filled with the sounds of unfamiliar bird calls. The redwood trees were intimidating, large, and powerful.


It was during this walk that I first fully realized the joviality and outgoing nature of New Zealanders. I was walking at a fairly swift pace, but some people were running through the woods. Every time someone passed by me from behind, I was greeted with some variation of "cheers, bro". I was again initially struck by the odd nature of this outgoingness, but I then again reexamined my own social norms and wondered which out of the two cultures had the stranger way of communicating. In any case, these people made my day with their cheerful way of greeting complete strangers; I've been trying to adapt this mode of interpersonal communication myself. I thought for a while about taking a longer path, but I was uncertain about when the bus was departing and didn't want to risk it.
This was outside the forest restrooms and struck me as funny/odd.
I think it just went way over my head intellectually.
1:00 p.m.: Lunch at Kiwipaka
Nothing much to report here. I don't even remember what I ate. Moving on.
2:00 p.m.: Blue Group to assemble in Kiwipake meeting room to learn the "Haka"
Ah, we come now to the most ridiculous and certainly most memorable event of orientation. Remember the video I taped of the rugby team performing the Haka? This battle chant is huge in New Zealand culture, and us, being the hardcore New Zealanders that we now were, obviously had to learn it for ourselves. We spent about 25 minutes learning the actual words. There was a large blackboard in front of us to help us remember. After all, it was in a foreign language. The man teaching us was of obvious Maori descent and took great pride and respect for the Haka and its origins. Here are the lyrics in Maori: I don't recall the exact translation, but it stems from ancient Maori folklore regarding their eldest ancestor in a near-death experience and his rising from the depths to new life. Epic.
Ka Mate! Ka Mate!
Ka Ora! Ka Ora!
Tenei te ta ngata puhuru huru
Nana nei i tiki mai
Whakawhiti te ra
A upane ka upane!
A upane kaupane whiti te ra!
Hi!!
In Maori, the phonetic sound "wh" is pronounced "f". So after (more or less) getting this down, we had to stand up and memorize the aggressive postures associated with each aspect of the poem. It was really interesting; each movement directly corralated with what he was saying. After about a half hour of learning, I personally felt that we had all gone above and behind what the average tourist could do. Nay, sir. For now, of course, comes the real part of the lesson. We had to perform the Haka in traditional Maori garb. Outside. Guess what the Maori wore? Loincloths.
So, in what proved to be a "through the hellfire" bonding experience, all the males stripped down to their boxers and threw on a loincloth. Also, we had to pull out boxers up out of sight. This is a very FUN thing to do, especially among almost complete strangers. It was at this point that the males had to accompany the females (who, by the way, got to dress in regal black dresses) outside in their bare feet to perform the Haka for a camera. God, I felt like a tourist. Speaking of tourist, remember how I said that New Zealand really has the tourist exploitation thing down? Yeah, they didn't allow any cameras or video recording and sold their copies for 20 dollars each. Because of this, I unfortunately have no photographic evidence that this ever happened. However, my friend Will binged and bought the DVD, so I may be able to copy it in the near future. It was dramatically colder than it was when we first came to Rotorua, and most of the males had to kneel down in front of the standing women. Due to the precarious postures that we found outselves in coupled with our rather limited garb, various vocal concerns were raised (mostly by the men) concerning the vulnerability of certain elements of the male anatomy at that time. These comments, if they were heard at all, were disregarded or ignored. Needless to say, all of the Australearn men all felt a bit closer to each other after this experience, and more than a few boundaries were certainly broken.
Hopefully keeping you all well informed,
Bill